It’s been a heavy few days. Yet another black man minding his own business was murdered and became a hashtag. I feel the need to unload.
Today, I walked 2.23 miles in honor of Ahmaud Arbery. Ahmaud was out on a run when two white men chased him down in their truck, boxed him in, and shot him to death. The men claimed they were making a “citizens arrest” because there were supposedly some burglaries going on and they thought Ahmaud was involved. What kind of garbage is that?!? A citizen’s arrest doesn’t involve guns and killing people! What’s worse is that this happened in FEBRUARY. The police department had the video for nearly 3 months and did not make a single arrest. If it wasn’t for the video coming out, we wouldn’t know a thing about it and the men likely wouldn’t have been arrested yesterday. The man who filmed the murder is under investigation. These are just the first steps toward justice. The video evidence is compelling but an acquittal could still happen. I hope not. Ahmaud and his family deserve justice.
Aside from the anger, there is a collective battle weariness among black folks. We’re tired. Tired of the killings. Tired of the hashtags. Tired of worrying about our safety and that of our families. Tired of having to be extra careful when doing ordinary activities like running or sitting on our couches eating ice cream. Tired of the extra scrutiny from police. Tired of having to do extra work just to get to the same level as our white coworkers. No wonder we’re more predisposed to chronic illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure. Not to mention the higher death rates from COVID-19. All of this worrying is stressful!
There’s also a weariness of white folks saying they’re against racism but won’t use their privilege to help combat it when push comes to shove. For those that watch The 100, it’s like how Ryker’s arc played out last season. Ryker was (privately) against the Primes taking host bodies. As a viewer, I had so much hope for him to join the fight to stop the body-snatching. So did a few of the other characters on the show, particularly Echo, Gabriel, and maybe Raven. He seemed willing because he hated Russell, the lead Prime, so much. However, when push came to shove, he stuck with Russell thinking that he and his mother would be safer. He did this not once but twice! He let the leader of the resistance, Gabriel, escape execution 70 years prior. Ryker could have left and worked with Gabriel or at least been an “agent” for him on the inside but he didn’t. Another thing is that Ryker had more hosts than any other Prime. He was on host #8. Even Russell was only on #6! So, Ryker benefited from taking hosts more than any other Prime even though he was so against it. It’s the same thing with systemic racism. Some white people may say they’re against racism but they benefit from it at the same time. I guess they don’t really want to give those benefits up.
At times, we may think that degrees, money, living in suburbia, and being on our “best behavior” (whatever that is) offer us some kind of protection. Ahmaud Arbery’s murder reminds us, once again, that they don’t. Will this ever end? Will we ever be able to run, sit on our couches and eat ice cream, play video games with our nephew at home, get a speeding ticket, walk down the street, walk back from the store with Skittles, knock on someone’s door to ask for help, play cops and robbers in the park, or simply just exist without being perceived as a threat simply because of our skin? I hope so for our sake and the sake of future generations.
That’s it.